[Closed] I am not really good at making friends

…there have been times - when I was thought, to be a little bit inactive - or even, not remotely knowable - due to…how people had to see me. It has very little to do, with a - personal life, of powerlessness - in general, but everything to do - wth the fact, that people - just simply, do not - know me very well…likely at all.

It was thought - that most occultists - were very quiet, read a lot - and just studied the hell out of…older texts - and that felt, like a very odd - feeling, because - it is not quite always welcomed, or true - that this might be the case. There are select - modern, and only some older texts - that some, deeper…or hardcore occultists - get into. Which means, that most of it - might just have to be modern, grimoire - structure - or even, things like…my own books, possibly.

I find this to be - the case, in my small - and larger situations - of grandeur, and power hungry, mind development, when - the rough folks come out…and slyly - want to know what everyone is reading…and - whatever we might be up to - that they, might want to see that…stuff, as well…

It feels - like a brutal trap, and it feels - very unaccustomed - to the truth, of what is really - going on. It also feels, very silly - and slightly stupid. It it is a never ending game, with these - people, and I find it - very self, burden - silly beyond hell fire…belief - that anyone would care about, other peoples occult - whereabouts. That just hits - a very shallow, tone - and grave, for myself…because - so many are in and out of the occult, that it feels - very wrong, for others - to claim, anything real - or even shallow…about - how the sorcery, might work - for our lives…ever.

This might - be an annoying issue, or just - outright, lying…for others, to get into - the thick of things, and just - burgeon their own - self, lying beliefs…forward - into brand new - thought magick. Where they imply, getting into - darker - or brand new…and very interesting stuff, that might have to be tossed away - in a way…because it does not make any sense - that it was ever…alright, or acceptable - to begin with…anyway.

I have my own thought groups, and circles - and it makes a whole load - of difference, in a very…different way, to have your own - occult path, and to realize - your own self - through powerful…self knowledge, and ritual - sorcery. I have to do - mine on a constant - basis, and now…it has just become - a very pure, and normal - part of my daily life.

I also have to actively - meditate - on a deep, and constant - basis, and this is…technically, open eyed - thinking meditation…with very, obvious - shift of thought and intention…to get me - zoned out, and connection - with higher level, thoughts and feelings…of outside - communication, and - energetic sorcery…connection.

It is not - that big of a deal, to get drawn into the occult - by the way, and to form your own - very unique path…is just how, it all has to work out. I feel - that very promising days are ahead, and even though - very many…supposed, novice, and years past - occultists, cannot lay claim…to remotely - ever, having heard of me - or knowing me…

I say - very openly, but - relatively privately, that…it has always been curious, but also…different, and - questionable - to make deep friends, in the occult worlds.

This is also just my own way - of delivering a very, personal - strong message to as many…occultists - and new sorcerers - as possible…

…because it feels - as if it definitely matters, to be - always on the alert, and very magnetized - to very private, but powerful - integral life…freedom and knowledge, like we - of the occult, and magick - and god form…using - ritual sorcery - kingdoms, and worlds…have to look, forward to - each weekend, and day (…or night).